10 Most EPIC Hockey Mullets in NHL History

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For better or worse the mullet is arguably one of the most celebrated hair styles of the past 20 years. While typical follicular trends come and go, the mullet is more than a haircut. It’s a lifestyle. Finely tuned by the “10-90” formula (10% “business” in the front, 90% “party” in the back), the mullet’s versatility is unsurpassed.

When it comes to professional sports, the coveted hockey mullet transcends all others. Part aerodynamics, part ‘flow’, and 100% hilarity – the hockey mullet is an entrenched emblem of the glory days of the sport.

Fire up your can of mousse and dust of your hair spray. It’s time to count down the 10 most epic hockey mullets of all time.

Photobucket10. “The Sucker Punch” – Marty McSorley

Back in the 90’s there was no cooler place to play hockey than Los Angeles. Aluminum Easton sticks glistened in the stadium lights, Hollywood A-listers frequented the front row, and McSorley’s well conditioned blonde mullet flowed gingerly behind him as he plowed down the ice. While a cowardly sucker punch on Brashear in 2000 shines most brightly in the history books of Marty’s career, his famous hockey mullet is a close second.

Photobucket 9. “The Duster” – George Parros

George Parros – perrenial tough guy of the Anaheim Ducks – pushes the innovative boundaries of hockey mullets. While a little flow in the back is a powerful force on it’s own, add a finely manicured moustache to the mix and what do you get? Pure multitude.

8. “The Howitzer” – Al Iafrate

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One of the main factors forcing mullets into retirement is male pattern baldness. For Al Iafrate, however, this unfortunate genetic curse left him undeterred in his allegiance to the mullet. Through thick and thin Al charged forward to sculpt an unprecedented “skullet” – one of the rarest hockey mullets ever to be seen in the wild. Check-mate, Chara.

7. “The Linesman” – Patrick Kane

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While Patrick Kane was almost disqualified from the roster due to his lack of authenticity and commitment, his 2010 playoff mullet was hard to leave off of the list. In a stroke of pure genius Kane pushed hockey mullet styling to new heights with his finely carved ‘triple lines’. To the uneducated mullet laymen this witty addition may appear to be a simple comedic afterthought. To the hockey mullet connoisseur, however, this attention to detail is exactly the kind of innovation deserving of number 7 on the roster.

6. “The Shutout” – Roberto Luongo

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Proving that tenders can rock a mullet just as good as their more fleet footed teammates – Luongo keeps the mullet tradition alive with a pure grease bucket. It’s hard to imagine the globs of gel that Luongo must lather into his mullet before a game, but the added weight has hardly impacted his game. Roberto continues to top the league as one of the best goalies in the NHL. Is the mullet merely a coincidence to his success? Think again.

5. “The Fleur-de-lis” – Guy Lafleur

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Guy “The Flower” Lafleur is known for much more that the record for most assists in Habs history. While 80’s hair bands made mullets en vogue, Lafleur is quite possibly the first player to put hockey mullets on the map. Like a blurred comet re-entering the atmosphere, Guy’s mullet glided down the right wing like no other in the game.

4. “The Play-by-Play” – Brian Engblom

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While Canadians are served with the “wisdom” of Don Cherry in-between periods, hockey fans down South are not as lucky. Former NHLer turned resident hockey expert on the “Versus” hockey network, Brian Engblom has not let a move to the broadcast booth deter the virtues of his mullet prowess. Best appreciated in 1080p HD this masterpiece holds true to the ‘business in the front, party in the back’ mantra unique to the mullet. Don Cherry you just got one-upped….mullet style.

3. “The Slot” - Ryan Smyth

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Ryan Smyth is best known for his ruthless play in front of the crease. Hated amongst defensemen throughout the league, there are few lengths that Smyth will not go through to wreak havoc on opposing goaltenders. This fearlessness even carries through to his choice of haircut. More than just style, Smyth’s mullet fully expanded provides a unique function when laying down screens in front of the net. With a radius of 8 inches (fully extended), try seeing past that mullet spread.

2. “The Jofa” - Jaromir Jagr

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Every so often a mullet comes along that truly defies time. While it is often said that hockey will only have one ‘Wayne Gretzky’, the same can be said for Jagr’s epic locks. A true mullet pioneer Jagr pushed the limits of his Jofa, packing pure volume into his magnificent mane.

Photobucket 1. “The Enforcer” - Chris Simon

Chris Simon is famous for two things in his mulletrious 15 year NHL hockey career: kicking ass and rocking one of the most feared mullets in the game. While getting your clock cleaned is bad enough, it’s made even worse when you look up off the ice with those rugged layers of flow staring you in the face. While most will remember Simon for his 1,824 career PIMs, we’ll remember him for what truly matters. His epic hockey mullet.

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7 Comments

Adam Pardes's picture

Hilarious work, Adam. I have to say that Jagr might've been my number one though...

Adam Runquist's picture

Thanks Mike! I think Engblom has a clause in his contract to not cut his mullet.

Adam, I was verrrry close to putting Jagr on the top of the list. It's a hard mullet to top but the fact that Simon's covered the name on his jersey in the late 90's I gave him the edge:)

George Prax's picture

You bastard I totally thought Jagr would take number one too. Guess the Chris Simon is as unpopular as your decision to put him number one Tongue

Adam Runquist's picture

Haha...#5 is for you Prax

George Prax's picture

I'll take #9 too since I'm greek Smile

empireamodeo's picture

Haha nice article. I think I would have to join the cause of Jammy being number one but you do make a strong case for not being able to see Simons name...tough call...lol