Letters to BJ: NHL Discipline
Hello, and welcome to another edition of Letters to Bon Jon Bovi. On today's show, we will be reading e-mails from viewers while geologist Colin J. Campbell discusses why the league tends to pick their spots when it comes to suspensions. Let's get started!
Our first e-mail comes from Mile-Anne Hedgeduck. I am unfamiliar with the name, so I will conclude it is a Klingon or an Avalanche player. It writes, "Dear BJ, I have your dog. I am also a Blackhawks fan." So far so good, Mile-Anne. Unfortunately for some happy family and their three year old, I do not own a dog. "Why is it that Niklas Hjalmarsson got the same two-game suspension as a fellatio gesture?"
Video Low-Down: Hjalmarsson vs. Pominville vs. Evil Destruction Boards
Well, Mile, it isn't that the hit itself warranted a gestures suspension, it is more along the lines that a two-game suspension is the norm for immediate punishment. Hjalmarsson is also a first time offender, so a two-game suspension seemed an appropriate call from the league to send him a message. What are your thoughts Colin J. Campbell?
"It's quite a simple theory and one that any beer drinker understands."
I don't quite follow, mind elaborating for the readers?
"The glass starts full and ends empty and the faster you drink it the quicker it's gone."
I see. I still don't quite understand the connection, but thank you for your input.
Our next e-mail comes from Luke A. Pootie. He writes, "Dear BJ, why is it that the Shane Doan hit on Cam Fowler is not reviewed?"
Video Low-Down: Shane Doan Pleasantly Aids Fowler to Safe Zone
Well, Luke. Cam Fowler seemed to have lost his edge on the play and started to go down when Doan began to use contact. It was an unfortunate conclusion to an otherwise clean hit. Want to back me up here Colin?
"This peak has no real significance."
What? Peak? Oh, you mean the hit?
"It is the perception and the vision of the long decline that comes into sight on the other side of the peak."
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Yes, I heard you say the peak.
"That's really what matters."
(Blankly stares at Colin and shakes his head) You're a horrible guest you realize that?
Whatever. In our third e-mail, Darren Koopa Puppa writes, "Dear BJ, I heard your rebuttle to the Hjalmarsson and Doan hits. What about the Avery slash on Komisarek?"
Video Low-Down: The Avery Look Around, No Officials, Chop Chop
I think it has to do with Komisarek not getting injured. Colin?
"There is, I think, a strong danger of some ill-considered military intervention to try to secure oil."
"Self-sufficiency will become a priority."
No one cares. I'm out of here.