Thank You Notes

Two days left until the real games start, where has the time gone?  I know a lot of you thought I was gone forever, but I’m not the Atlanta Thrashers or playoff hockey in Toronto. To be honest though, I’m just more of a regular season guy, like Alex Ovechkin. 

Now with that said, there’s just a few thank you notes I’d like to hand out before we get started.

The first person I want to thank is Stephen Marche, who wrote an article last week suggesting that Toronto is the worst sports city in the WORLD. One of the main criteria was that fans in Toronto show up in masses to support mediocre teams. The fact is that Toronto fans are ignoring strategy here. The idea is that fans should only show up to support their teams when they’re winning. The hockey community actually has a term for this strategy, known as “Sens fans.” This strategy of not showing up when your team sucks to provoke change is pretty flawless actually, just ask Thrasher fans.

I’d like to thank Gary Bettman, for giving Winnipeg another chance of having an NHL team, despite having the smallest seating capacity in the NHL. The NHL has already proven that as long as you screw over the city’s tax payers, you can have an arena that seats no one.

Speaking of Winnipeg, I’d like to thank True North for listening to fans and naming the team the Jets, even if one of their best players in Dustin Byfuglien is more of a Boeing 747 than a Jet.

Thank you, John Tavares for signing a long-term contract. Toronto is going to welcome you with open arms when it finally gets its second NHL team.

I’d like to thank NHL fans and the media for taking complete umbrage against Wayne Simmonds and the comments he made to Sean Avery. Everyone would like Simmonds to know that if you have a problem with another player, you punch him in the face, you don’t say hurtful things.

I’d like to thank the new green verification for making NHL more like the NFL with all of its technicalities. Now all they need are fans and air time.

I’d like to thank the Boston Bruins for including Marc Savard’s name on the Stanley Cup, even if he might not ever be able to read it.

Thank you to Jaques Martin and Andrei Kostitsyn for putting their differences aside for the good of the team. The entire locker room knows that the slightest negativity in the air could rip apart Markov's knee.

I'd like to thank Brendan Shanahan for his hard approach on head shots. He's been coming down harder than Roberto Luongo's save percentage in important hockey games.

Finally, I’d like to thank Ron Wilson for joining twitter. (@coachrw63) It’s going to be a great feed to follow when you finally get fired.

Thank you all for reading,

Patrick Storto

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3 Comments

Kyle Andrew Busch's picture

This was great! lol

George Prax's picture

I love how you basically just take shots at everyone right off the bat haha. I am disappoint though, no Boudreau fat jokes ;(

Patrick Storto's picture

I dropped the ball on that one. There's always room for a Boudreau joke, even if there's not always room for Boudreau.